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UXU Issue #040
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Depression ] [ By The GNN ]
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DEPRESSION
by THE GNN/DC/uXu
It's 2.10 in the morning. I'm looking at the screen. My hands are typing.
DON'T READ THIS FILE!
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This file doesn't contain anything interesting! It was written because
i'm so fucking bored at the moment. I had to do something. And I did
this, yes, this, another file, completely uninteresting. Just a journey
through the deepest boredom found on planet earth...
How bad can life get? School begins tomorrow after the x-mas holiday...
The Chief is gone for a whole year and closes Info Addict during that
time... My phonebill is rated "roof buster" and will send my modem to
hell when my parents sees it... I can't get rid of my ugly girlfriend...
I live in a small town in the middle of Sweden a long way from any
kind of civilisation...
(etc etc)
CAN LIFE GET ANY WORSE?
(no)
Sometimes I think of start smoking...just to have something to do.
Or why not build an unstable explosive? Just to feel that i'm alive.
If i had a gun I'd place one bullet inside it and play russian roulette.
JUST TO FEEL THAT I'M STILL ALIVE!
However.
I don't know if anyone is reading this. I write files, I send them to
The Chief and he sends them to the other side of the Atlantic. And?
Ofcourse, he tells me now and then that they are being dowloaded but
so what? That doesn't mean that anyone is reading this file.
Do You belive in "god"?
I don't. But sometimes I think of it. Just to have something to do.
Freud once said the the biggest sickness of the human race was that he
prefered to belive in non-existing things. To feel safe.
I belive in Freud.
I belive in myself.
I think of spraying myself with tear-gas.
I don't know why.
I think of throwing acid into my face.
Oh, if society only was ruled by anarchy! Then I would be free.
You say "Idiot, doesn't he understand that democracy is the ultimate
freedom!". Is it? I mean, we are forced to go to school. We are forced
to get a job. We live and we die. But what do we do?
NOTHING!
We do as we are told all the time! You think you are free, free to
"plan" your life. Wrong! You don't choose to go to school. You don't
choose to get a job. You just do it because that's what everybody else
is doing and that must be the right way in life! (?)
End of this crap. I hate politics. Especially when people think I'm
talking about it. I am not! I am talking about anarchy - a life WITHOUT
any politics, no democracy, no left, no right... just plain life.
Well...I suddenly remember something nice. Phearless is opening his
board later this week. Could be interesting to see what will happend.
Will he be raided by the police the first day or will they wait until
he feel secure? You never know. Ha-ha. (lowbudget humor, another proof
of extreme depression).
I'm looking at my modem. Maybe it's time to upload this file now and go
to bed and sleep? No...then time would fly. I must take care of these
few golden hours before school starts again.
Or maybe...maybe I just should clear this file and forget all about it?
But I remember. I remember once when a drunk old man asked me what I
did "in mah schpare ti-time?". I said "I write".
He looked at me and continued "Ah...scho you are writing...writing a
...book (hic!)? That's interesting!"
"No. I'm just writing..."
"Ah...", he said. I walked past him and away. But he turned around and
talked to me again.
"But kid! Remember to schow people (hic!) what you write! It's not
healthy to write things and then hi-hide it!"
I think he was right. Always remember:
"It's not healthy to write things and then hide it"
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Call INFO ADDICT - Home of Underground eXperts United +46-498-22113
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XXX ONLY OPEN ON WEEKENDS FROM JAN 10 -> DEC 24 1992 XXX
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