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uXu Issue #90
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[People of the Elite Scene - Yargh!] [ By The GNN ]
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"PEOPLE OF THE ELITE SCENE - YARGH!"
by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu
"Zo cool that ya will freeze to ice man yeah coolfix yeah"
(MegaKracker of SuperElite)
Ah, where ever you go, there they are! "People of the Elite scene".
What makes these people interesting is that they are miles away from what
you could call a Normal social life. They isolate themselves in their
homes, with the exception when they go to so called "parties" to have so
called "fun".
To show you some classical examples how-to recognize a man of the scene
we have found a bunch of dialogues between a Normal Human Being (NHB) and
some ELITE-D00DDZ.
This file can be very useful if you want to identify what kind of person
you are talking to if you happen to crash into a "copyparty" during one of
your many escapes from the cops. Otherwise, this article is worthless.
Please, read on.
"Elite MODemtrader":
NHB: Hey! Where's that money you owe me?
MOD: AH, DA LATEZT HOT WAREZZ YEEZZ DOING SOME NICE ULOADING GOTTA
PAY MAH FONEBILL MAN SEE YA AROUND YEZZZ WAREZZZZZ
NHB: Sorry?
MOD: DA PHREAK OUT CARDZ HOT WAREZZZ AT&T NEXT UNTIL YEZZ
"Elite MAilsWapper":
NHB: Hey! Long time no see, mate! What's up?
MAW: Hello.
Nice to hear from you again.
See you.
Stamps back.
"Elite SYSop":
NHB: Ah, here's that book I was looking for! Look at this des..
SYS: OLD! That's an old book!
NHB: Uhm, yes. It's about twenty years old...
SYS: WHAT? OLD STUFF! GET OUT! OUT!
NHB: But this is my house!
SYS: SO WHAT?! YOUR ACCOUNT IS DELETED! OUT!
(ritsch!)
NHB: My book! You destroyed it!
SYS: Just removing your creditzzz sucker!
"Elite CODer":
NHB: Hey! Really advanced computers they got in when making T2, ey?
COD: (grin) Bah! I did that one year ago but I never released it.
NHB: What time is it?
COD: (grin) Bah! I did that one year ago but I never released it.
NHB: Argh. Uhmf. Yes. ZXPPRT.
COD: (grin) Bah! I did that one year ago but I never released it.
"Elite GrapHician":
NHB: Hey! That drawing by Michelangelo is pretty nice. Rather old too...
GHS: Probably scanned. I can tell it from here that it is scanned.
I think I got that picture in a book of mine; "GOBLINS AND MONSTERS".
(Five minutes later)
NHB: Hey! Your picture is pretty nice.
GHS: Free-hand! Yes, a free-hand thing! YES! NOT FUCKING SCANNED! HA!
I SAID NOT FUCKING SCANNED! DID YOU HEAR ME! NOT SCANNED! NO!
"Elite MuSiCian":
NHB: FIRE!
MCS: (silence)
NHB: FIRE! I SAID "FIRE"! THIS BUILDING IS ON FIRE!
MCS: ...hum, hum...
NHB: YARGHL! I CANNOT STAND IT! WE MUST GET OUT! NOW!
MSC: ...dum de dum...shit...
NHB: I AM DYING! AREGHL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...(klong!)...
MSC: ...hum hum... Did you say something? Can't head a word with
these head-phones over my head...
"Elite LAMer":
NHB: Excuse me...
LAM: "Mess with the best, die like the rest!"
NHB: I wonder if you...
LAM: "Why run with the pack when you can follow the leader?"
NHB: Please, could I...
LAM: "Call me for buying the latest warez!"
NHB: Now listen! I really...
LAM: "I rule supreme!"
(etc)
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Call THE STASH - Home of Underground eXperts United.
Or check the INDEX file for a complete list of where you can find us!
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Until then... Listen carefully.
Hey, wait;
BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS!
"TeXTfile writer":
NHB: So, you like to write and read? Have you read "Der Prozess" by
Franz Kafka?
TXT: Kafka? Is he a relative to William Powell?
NHB: Uhm, I don't think so...
TXT: Well, I bet he have just ripped off some old Jolly Roger stuff
anyway, like all other lowbudget writers who can't come up
with fresh ideas!
NHB: Hey! I have seen you ripping off Jolly Roger yourself!
TXT: Nope, I have just UPGRADED them!
BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! BONUS!
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