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uXu Issue #101


NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.

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Underground eXperts United

Presents...

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[ Sex! ] [ By The GNN ]

____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

SEX!
by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu

The name of this file has been constructed by
Cheap Attention Grabbers INC (Thanks guys!) to
get billions of people to download it.

The original name is however:

HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY WRITE A "EROTIC" NOVEL
by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu

Many people wants to write text files and earn fame and fortune today.
This is not easy if you both want someone to actually READ what you write
and like it at the same time. You must own a great deal of talent for the
written language, you must understand what separates a good file from
rubbish. A good file could be anything from a high-explosive that no one
ever has written about before, to deep poems or fiction that thrills the
reader. Bad files are those that no one reads because they do not include
any new ideas.
But!, if you have not got any new ideas, fresh information or wild
imagination, there is still hope for you. Yes! Yes! Do as thousands of
other people with only half a brain does every day!

Write a erotic novel.

Yes! This is a part of the text file scene that does not require any
talent at all, nor some new ideas! You only have to let your fingers dance
over the keyboard long enough and viola! You have a file. Do it again and
you have another file. Do it three times and you are famous!
To help you get started here is the complete guide!

1. THE NAME

At first you need a name of the file. No problems. Name it after the
girl in the novel, or after the situation that will lead to the
love-making.
Examples: "Jenny", "Rita", "The new girl at the gas station".

2. THE BEGINNING

This depends on how long you want the file to be. If you plan a long
file, write megs of crap about the girl herself that no one reads anyway.
Example: "Oh, Mausolea was a real hot gal that never could get enough of
dick in her little pussy that always wanted more and more. Her mother
however was deep religious and had not touched a man in forty years... "

3. THE MEETING

Boy meet girl. Girl meet boy. Alternative: Girl meet ten boys and
participate in a brutal gang-bang. Just let the girl and the boy meet each
other in a common way (no one wants extreme and unbelievable fantasies in
the beginning, they must come later) like on the gas station or at a
wedding or at a public lavatory. If you are a bit experienced you can
"tease" the reader. This is done by letting the boy see the girl several
times and describe her marvelous body before he drills her.
Example: "For the third day I saw her again standing by the phone-booth
with those big breasts and marvelous legs that screamed for me. Suddenly
she began to talk to me. She said: - Let's go to my apartment and have
a drink."

4. THE ACT

You have now reached the only part of your file that is actually read.
This is why you must be extra detailed in your descriptions of what is
happening. Take your time, use plenty of space to tell the reader about
what kind of exotic knickers the girl is using, and what store she has
bought them in, if they were on sale or expensive etc.
Do not write like this: "Then I pressed my cock into her pussy and
immediately came. It was great!"
This is better: "- I love you, I said. - Me too, she said. - I know, I
said. Then I carefully let my big red pounding rocket of love slide into
her wet hot deep cave of pleasure. We moved our beautiful bodies in a
steady rhythm, until the orgasm struck us. It felt like I had put my
fingers in a high voltage socket."
NOTE. Of course, you cannot go for the finale at once. First you must
go through the standard actions. They are (in the right order):

1- They kiss (not necessary, but it gives a more romantic mood)
2- Boy suck girl's nipples.
3- Girl suck dick.
4- Boy lick pussy.
5- THE EXTRA FEATURE. This must be the special happening of the act and
therefore be a bit different. Examples: 69-position, boy shave
girl, girl shave boy (unusual, but works), girl kick boy's nuts (S/M
only), boy whip girl etc etc
Penetration. Any position will do.
6- The HAPPY end - both have a satisfying orgasm and promise each other
eternal love.

5. THE END

Now you have reached the end. You can end your story in many ways, but
of course not in any unexpected way. It would be rather shocking for the
reader if he, with the dick in his hand in the middle of his jerk-off,
suddenly reads that the boy smashed the girl's brains to pieces with a iron
stick. No, the end must be romantic.
Example: "I never saw Mhariah again after our night together, but she
will forever live in my memory.". Even if Mhariah is working at the same
job as the hero, he will never ever see her again. A sex-novel does not
have to include common sense.
And DO NOT end the story with something really off-putting like "I think
of her all the time... when I masturbate." It may be true (it would be in
real life anyway), but remember that you have written the file for the
reader and not the kinky little hero in your novel.

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Lake side drive on a summer day. Lake side drive - nothing to say.
SEDES DIABOLI +46-586-UNFORGETTABLE.
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We're rich. It's Perrier water.
 
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