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Underground eXperts United - File #136
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Date: Sat, 14 Aug 1993 02:53:43 +0200
From: [email protected]
Message-Id: <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: #136
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Live On Stage Again: Messiah! ] [ By The GNN ]
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"LIVE ON STAGE AGAIN: MESSIAH!"
by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu
"God is dead. He has left the humans alone."
(F. Nietzche)
"Good morning. As you might have noticed I am Jesus Christ, son
of Lenny Christ, or "God" as you homo sapiens like to call him. I
will... COULD YOU PLEASE STOP SHOUTING "HALLELUJAH" DOWN
THERE? PLEASE! Thank you...
As I said, I have decided to come down to you here on planet
Earth a second time to tell you some vital facts. Still, I feel
quite stupid standing here on the roof of my divine spacecraft and
only tell you things that should have been rather obvious to all of
you! I mean, you have wars, death, destruction, crazed religious
fanatics and all that! But still, you refuse to stop believing in
Lenny...uhm... I mean "God". Yes, Lenny created your planet to
have something to play around with, but that does not mean he LOVED
you! So stop that childish behavior! Start doing something
constructive instead like... like... love and peace? Not a bad
idea eh? Yeah, I think it sounds great too!
However, some of you then want Lenny to do something about it?
Anyone? Hello? Ah, finally! Yes.... yes.... yes....
I see... ok... mmmm.... Well, what can I say? Your arguments are
foolish! "God wants real love, he does not want the love he would
get from giving us gifts". ARE YOU FUCKING REAL OR WHAT? A) Lenny
did not care if you loved him or not. B) Yes, Lenny had the power
to make this place rather comfortable but this is not possible.
Why? Check out "C" man! Because: C) Lenny is dead!
Stop screaming back there, PLEASE. Yes, Lenny has been stone cold
for a while now. He actually died seven hours after he had created
Earth. The story is a bit bizarre. My grandparents noticed that
Lenny, in his early childhood, had special "gifts". He could make
abstract thoughts materialize and make them pop up from nowhere.
Yeah, so when he was older he did a lot of stupid things. He
created perfect nude females and rock bands that played exactly
what he wanted to listen to. When he got older, he created Earth.
Seven hours after he had created Earth, he came up with a tonne of
candy that he ate so fast that he died of stroke. A real shame, he
was a real nice father.
I God we trust... NOT! Haha! Gotcha!
During these years, I have never put much thoughts of you down
here at Earth. Not until I noticed a hysterical love to Lenny.
Hey, you really adore him don't you? Stop that! He is dead and
gone and does not need any of your love. By the way, why do you
call it "love"? You are only trying to mentally buy tickets to a
"heaven" that you will hopefully come to when you die. THOUGH LUCK
PEOPLE! There is no heaven! HAHA! Lenny never created any
paradise! So just accept the fact that everything turns black when
your brain goes out of order.
The first time I was here, everything went wrong. When I said
that I was the son of God, someone (cannot remember his name) got
completely crazy and nailed me to a cross. Well, what might have
happened if I had the chance to tell him what I REALLY wanted to
say: that Lenny was dead. Shit, these morons would probably have
cut my fingers off and burned me alive. Luckily, I got rescued by
my brothers. A few days in the hospital, then I was alright again.
Then what? A few smart business men releases "The Holy Bible"!
CRAP! LIES! Nothing in that piece of bull is true! I wipe
myself in my ass every morning with that book! Now what? STOP
SHOUTING! I AM JUST TELLING YOU THE FACTS, OK?
Who mentioned Satan? Ridiculous! How can there exist a Satan?
You people are really strange. At first you imagine yourselves
that "God" is soooo good to yoou... la la la... and then you
fully believe that this "God" also have created a devil who ruins
your life? Lenny would really have been pissed off if he had heard
that! Really pissed I tell you!
The world IS only mechanical and causal! I knew you would start
screaming! I knew it! You are really weird all of you! You have
this wonderful world with fast cars, orgasms and good food! Is
that not enough? Noooo... you want 'the meaning of life' too...
ARE YOU BLIND OR WHAT? Your damn meaning of life IS to fuck and
have a good time! So just STOP all religion, philosophy, science
and other worthless activities and go directly to the point: PARTY!
Ho ho ho yeah yeah!
Now you got it all, full details with cream on top! I hope my
visit here will be good for you. Stop wasting your time with
religious thoughts and try to do something creative instead. Lenny
is not coming back to change things! And... No, you do not have to
begin with anno dazumal again after I have left."
After these radical statements, the small individual who called
himself Jesus stepped down from the enormous cigar-shaped spaceship
and joined the crowd in front of him. He walked to the nearest
human, a lady that was crying hysterically. At first it looked
like he was going to cheer her up. But instead, he showed her a
little black box and said "I know that you are sad. But 'God' is
actually dead and gone. If you do not believe me, put a quarter in
the slot here and watch through the small hole on the top, to see
for yourself" The lady did not hesitate. With shaky hands she
found a quarter and put it in the black box. Then she looked
through the hole. "Do you see anything?", Jesus asked.
She replied: "No."
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No sex until marriage! Hey poor, you do not have to be poor any more!
Automatique QuallBaq Elservico: SEDES DIABOLI +46-586-N.W.O.
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Anarchy is the only acceptable government.
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uXu #136 Underground eXperts United 1993 uXu #136
Call THE PHROZEN REALM -> +1-514-738-2105
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