Eggs for Breakfast (post #500 woohoo)
StephenPBarrett
Adviser
I have decided that for my 500th post I will type up a story I wrote a while back. It's called "Eggs for Breakfast" and has the same main character as in my previous post "Finding Stars in the City"
Sunday is usually a day of rest for me. I sleep until about twelve o' clock or so and then I take a shower, eat a small breakfast and sit outside at my little glass table and smoke as a write. This is something that simply cannot be helped. If I'm writing, I have a cigarette in my hand or mouth. Its just a given.
However, on this particular Sunday, despite my usual routine, I found myself walking to the store to buy eggs. I'm not sure why I was so compelled to have eggs for breakfast, it was just a craving. One of those bad ones. The kind that itch at you like that spot on your back that you can't quite reach. I didn't just want eggs, I needed eggs. I couldn't understand my craving and in thinking about it, could only relate it to a pregnant woman's desire for unusual foods. My stomach led me to the dairy section and then the nearby eggs. I grabbed a carton and walked to the checkout counter. I suppose that since it was Sunday many people were at church and so this must be the reason that the checkout lines weren't very long. This made me happy, the large woman in a tank top with a buggy full of groceries and an equally large child beside her tugging at her jeans and pointing anxiously at a chocolate bar when she already had smears on her lips and cheeks did not.
I waited patiently with my eggs as she pulled items out of her buggy and onto the conveyor belt.
I slowly grew bored and agitated and began to take notice of the products the woman was buying. Chocolate cake mix, frozen pizzas, a ton of hamburger meat, countless packs of cookie dough and all kinds of other fatty foods. To top it off there was a six-pack of diet soda which disturbed me to no end. Diet sodas are not like those tasty sodas that people consume in mass quantities, it just tastes flat. Who likes a flat soda? Assuming that her taste buds weren't shot to hell, the only reason for her to be drinking that shit would be if she were trying out a diet which was impossible considering her previous selections. I decided that she had no taste buds at all or the ones she did have were supremely fucked.
That's when she said it: "Oh, There is my Diet Coke! I really need to lose some of this weight." She then patted her enormous belly and let out a hearty laugh. It sent shivers down my spine.
When finally all of her groceries had been priced, she laboriously pulled a wallet out of one of her back pockets and counted out the cash, first in bills then change and lastly rolled pennies from her front pocket. To make matters worse she fell short by a few dollars. She then began to sift through the items, trying to decide which she could do without. He indecisiveness thinned my patience even more and so I gave her the money she needed to buy her things and a chocolate bar for her little demon so they could get the hell out of my way. I even bagged over half of the stuff to help her leave sooner.
When I walked out the automatic doors and into the now afternoon light I felt amazing. I had helped the woman to add more weight to her already grotesquely huge body and even worse had helped her child do the same plus rot its teeth. Who knows how many cavities the little shit already had. I was happy. Serene even. I had my eggs and suddenly all was right in my world.
Eggs for Breakfast
Sunday is usually a day of rest for me. I sleep until about twelve o' clock or so and then I take a shower, eat a small breakfast and sit outside at my little glass table and smoke as a write. This is something that simply cannot be helped. If I'm writing, I have a cigarette in my hand or mouth. Its just a given.
However, on this particular Sunday, despite my usual routine, I found myself walking to the store to buy eggs. I'm not sure why I was so compelled to have eggs for breakfast, it was just a craving. One of those bad ones. The kind that itch at you like that spot on your back that you can't quite reach. I didn't just want eggs, I needed eggs. I couldn't understand my craving and in thinking about it, could only relate it to a pregnant woman's desire for unusual foods. My stomach led me to the dairy section and then the nearby eggs. I grabbed a carton and walked to the checkout counter. I suppose that since it was Sunday many people were at church and so this must be the reason that the checkout lines weren't very long. This made me happy, the large woman in a tank top with a buggy full of groceries and an equally large child beside her tugging at her jeans and pointing anxiously at a chocolate bar when she already had smears on her lips and cheeks did not.
I waited patiently with my eggs as she pulled items out of her buggy and onto the conveyor belt.
I slowly grew bored and agitated and began to take notice of the products the woman was buying. Chocolate cake mix, frozen pizzas, a ton of hamburger meat, countless packs of cookie dough and all kinds of other fatty foods. To top it off there was a six-pack of diet soda which disturbed me to no end. Diet sodas are not like those tasty sodas that people consume in mass quantities, it just tastes flat. Who likes a flat soda? Assuming that her taste buds weren't shot to hell, the only reason for her to be drinking that shit would be if she were trying out a diet which was impossible considering her previous selections. I decided that she had no taste buds at all or the ones she did have were supremely fucked.
That's when she said it: "Oh, There is my Diet Coke! I really need to lose some of this weight." She then patted her enormous belly and let out a hearty laugh. It sent shivers down my spine.
When finally all of her groceries had been priced, she laboriously pulled a wallet out of one of her back pockets and counted out the cash, first in bills then change and lastly rolled pennies from her front pocket. To make matters worse she fell short by a few dollars. She then began to sift through the items, trying to decide which she could do without. He indecisiveness thinned my patience even more and so I gave her the money she needed to buy her things and a chocolate bar for her little demon so they could get the hell out of my way. I even bagged over half of the stuff to help her leave sooner.
When I walked out the automatic doors and into the now afternoon light I felt amazing. I had helped the woman to add more weight to her already grotesquely huge body and even worse had helped her child do the same plus rot its teeth. Who knows how many cavities the little shit already had. I was happy. Serene even. I had my eggs and suddenly all was right in my world.
Comments
haha. this is great.