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Become an ordained minister

muffinsmuffins Regular
edited July 2010 in Man Cave
I was reading steal this wiki and found this shit http://www.ulc.net/index.php?page=ordain

Can you say tax shelter, and also it would be pretty good for doin weddings and shit for nonchurchgoers wat you guys think? I'm getting ordained, will post my credentials when they arrive for the lulz
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  • Dr. AwkwardDr. Awkward Regular
    edited July 2010
    This kid in my high school English class did this and printed out his certification in class and made the teacher address him as "Reverend Cam" for a while. Funny at the time.

    That's a great idea for tax shelter though.
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  • Anal Probe DeluxeAnal Probe Deluxe Regular
    edited July 2010
    DO IT. I might follow suit.
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    Its done brother, ordered the deluxe package with doctorate degree and all, I would like to nominate myself the official Totse.info chaplin now. Also as soon as my shit comes in im going to go get my papers to officiate weddings in my state. I am pretty religous, raised catholic. And ULC has many close to catholic practices. Pretty excited man
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  • Anal Probe DeluxeAnal Probe Deluxe Regular
    edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    Its done brother, ordered the deluxe package with doctorate degree and all, I would like to nominate myself the official Totse.info chaplin now. Also as soon as my shit comes in im going to go get my papers to officiate weddings in my state. I am pretty religous, raised catholic. And ULC has many close to catholic practices. Pretty excited man

    May I be your Altar boy?
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  • ILTST9ILTST9 Regular
    edited July 2010
    OP is doing my marriage if I ever get married.
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  • Anal Probe DeluxeAnal Probe Deluxe Regular
    edited July 2010
    ILTST9 wrote: »
    OP is doing my marriage if I ever get married.

    This.
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  • Brock SamsonBrock Samson Regular
    edited July 2010
    Fuck taxes, I'm bookmarking that shit for later.
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  • DaSkipperDaSkipper Regular
    edited July 2010
    My grandmother is ordained. She had to take classes and shit to do it... Lol what a mook.
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  • LucifereusLucifereus Semo-Regulars
    edited July 2010
    lol what can i do if i become an ordained minister? can i really make the teacher call me reverend rofl
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  • Issue313Issue313 Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    I know Subgenius ministers can go through the ULC to get officially ordained.
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  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited July 2010
    just sent in my application.
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    got my acceptance e mail this afternoon and my credentials should be in this week. They dont send you the printable certificate anymore but for 14 bux you can order the clergy starter kit with cert, wallet id and welcome book. not a bad deal. Gonna tie it in with my cell phone booster scheme to give some credit to it as a fundraiser
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  • megamanmegaman Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    got my acceptance e mail this afternoon and my credentials should be in this week. They dont send you the printable certificate anymore but for 14 bux you can order the clergy starter kit with cert, wallet id and welcome book. not a bad deal. Gonna tie it in with my cell phone booster scheme to give some credit to it as a fundraiser

    This say its for dieing dolphins in the gulf coast or some random story like that and i just sent in my form this also can potentially be a great way to make a fake identity. Though i as a future new minister would never try to do such a thing.
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    megaman wrote: »
    This say its for dieing dolphins in the gulf coast or some random story like that and i just sent in my form this also can potentially be a great way to make a fake identity. Though i as a future new minister would never try to do such a thing.

    Good idea on the oil slick thing. So far my minsitry makes money the following ways

    1. Selling phone boosters

    2. Running a free porn site

    3. Selling real touch devices

    4. Making jwh blend and selling

    5. Bicylce repair


    9 to 5 jobs are for chumps
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  • megamanmegaman Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    Good idea on the oil slick thing. So far my minsitry makes money the following ways

    1. Selling phone boosters

    2. Running a free porn site

    3. Selling real touch devices

    4. Making jwh blend and selling

    5. Bicycle repair


    9 to 5 jobs are for chumps

    Damn those are quite a few ways. Though how do you make money on the free porn site (advertisements?) and i need to catch up in my diversifying so far with only

    1. shoplifting

    2. realtives

    maybe ill look some more into steal this wiki for some more ideas. Though after looking it up im sure the jwh blend makes you tones of money with it being pretty cheap to make.
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  • DeadHamDeadHam Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    does it co$t anything?
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    DeadHam wrote: »
    does it co$t anything?

    Ordination is free spring 14 dollars and get the pretty certificat and ID card
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  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    I did this shit in '05. Too bad I never printed the certificate. I think I still have the screenshots of it somewhere, though.
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  • ZaffronZaffron Semo-Regulars
    edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    Good idea on the oil slick thing. So far my minsitry makes money the following ways

    1. Selling phone boosters

    2. Running a free porn site

    3. Selling real touch devices

    4. Making jwh blend and selling

    5. Bicylce repair


    9 to 5 jobs are for chumps

    1 - How much do you make this way

    2 - Could you possibly teach me a thing or two :3
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    Zaffron wrote: »
    1 - How much do you make this way

    2 - Could you possibly teach me a thing or two :3



    1. Enough to have lived comfortably for the last 3 years with no real job

    2. Stick around this forum and learn ( I have an apprentice ATM but i do share info)
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  • Anal Probe DeluxeAnal Probe Deluxe Regular
    edited July 2010
    The only exemption a minister can get alone is exemption from Social Security taxes. Also this nullifes qualification for Social Security benefits. We need to make a church called The Temple of the Screaming Electron fo realz. Talk about publicity.
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    Get three people and you have a congergation, services are in your home right? no property tax. Use your vehicle for clergy business? tax right off for milage and upkeep. theres lots of ins and outs to it. I ordered the book from em on tax shit for the church.
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  • Hammer TankHammer Tank Regular
    edited July 2010
    what is the meaning of life?
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    Hammer Tank wrote: »
    what is the meaning of life?

    Enjoy the small things. That first drag of a smoke in the morning, the smell after a rain, eating your favorite food, getting a nut off. Whatever makes you happy and doesnt infringe on anothers basic human rights. There is no meaning to this madness find enjoyment where you may.
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  • DaSkipperDaSkipper Regular
    edited July 2010
    Simpsons did it.
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    Got some of my stuff in today, gonna go to the nursing home this weekend do you think people would will things to the church? (we have a new topic now)

    revmuffins.jpg
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  • PacoPaco me administrator
    edited July 2010
    Epic Fucking Win. Is there an age limit? I'm 16, can i apply?
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  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    Paco wrote: »
    Epic Fucking Win. Is there an age limit? I'm 16, can i apply?


    No age limit man , But unless you shell out a few bucks or write to them you dont get the nifty cars and certs
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  • PacoPaco me administrator
    edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    No age limit man , But unless you shell out a few bucks or write to them you dont get the nifty cars and certs

    Fuck Yea, Sea King. I'll have to apply later on when I have some more money. Thanks for this. :D
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  • Anal Probe DeluxeAnal Probe Deluxe Regular
    edited July 2010
    Paco wrote: »
    Fuck Yea, Sea King. I'll have to apply later on when I have some more money. Thanks for this. :D

    I did it for free, printed out the statement, and laminated it. :D I am now an ordained minister for teh ULC lol.
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