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Ballad of the Bobbitts
The Ballad of The Bobbit's
(sung to the Beverly Hillbillies Theme)
Here's a little story of a man named John,
a poor ex-Marine with a little fraction gone.
It seems one night after gettin with the wife,
she lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife.
(penis that is - rodeo'd filet food)
Well the next thing you know there's a GINSU by hos side,
and Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple headed friend,
and she tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend.
(curves that is, pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
and they called out the hounds just to get his winnie back.
The sniffed and they barked then they pointed "over there",
To John Wayne's Henry that was waving in the air.
(found that is by a picket fence - evidence)
Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart to long,
so a dick doc said "Hey, I can fix your dong.
A neddle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need"
the world hel its breath till they heard that Johnny pee'd.
(whizzed that is - stitched seam - straight stream)
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court,
with a cock-eyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
and his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.
(video that is - unexposed - case closed)
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