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Carefree Glacier Watch organization
This from Carefree, Arizona...
Carefree Glacier Watch
The Threat of Big Ice !
Mountains of ice, fugitives of prehistoric days, outcasts from the Pleisto
Scene. Lacking any social graces, these great frozen enemies of the desert
threaten the comfort and well-being of honest citizens. In addition, they
freeze bunnies and roadrunners, chase harmless saguaros, and devour precious
sun-drenched land. Creeping and slinking as they sidle up to their prey,
glaciers exhibit no manners or common decency.
We must keep our desert free of these villians. Scientists tell us, after
all, that the next ice age is just around the corner. Glaciers can strike
at any moment. Are you prepared for Big Ice?
JOIN THE CAREFREE GLACIER WATCH
Here in Carefree, Arizona, glacier deterrence is a way of life for those
who prefer a more temperate climate, to the frozen wastelands caused by
wild and crazed glaciers.
Our early warning system, the CAREFREE GLACIER WATCH, keeps its collective
eyeballs peeled for suspicious movements of ice floes, and triggers a Glacier
Alert, should any appear to be approaching.
Join the Glacier Watch, and set up your own Glacier Watch Outpost. Your
lifetime membership card will entitle you to all the rights and privileges
of Glacier Watchers everywhere, whatever those may be.
Sponsor your friends and relatives; get them to help spot those sneaky
glaciers before they pounce.
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HOW TO GIVE THE GLACIER ALERT
When you sight the dread glacier:
1. Point to the glacier and shout, "Big Ice!"
2. Those within earshot respond, "Thar she floes!"
HOW TO REMOVE THE GLACIER
1. Whip out your official glacier removal tool, the Solar Decryopticator
<which is nothing more or less than a magnifying lens. ed.>
2. Hold it between sun and glacier, then
3. Melt that critter dead in its icy tracks.
STRIKE A BLOW FOR SUMMER!...JOIN THE CAREFREE GLACIER WATCH
<Provided by the unknowing courtesy of Mager Associates, Inc.,
P.O. Box 1233, Carefree, AZ 85377>
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