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Cola Alert! Cola wars introduce JOLT- PLUS
COLA ALERT!
Coca-Cola of Anderson announced today the introduction of
JOLT-PLUS. Coke president Sony Toyotamazda said "This stuff could
jump-start Godzilla!". Not to be outdone, Pepsi will unveil it's
new matter-anti-matter beverage called "WARP-OLA". Pepsi hopes,
by providing Warp-ola in baby bottles, that a whole new generation
will learn to drink it's products instead of eating food. In a
related story, the American Medical Association, happily endorsed
these products, adding "Poisonous crap like this will gurantee us
a million per year, easy!". Nine out of ten dentists agree, rushing
out to order that new Rolls Royce. In fact, death and disease might
save the entire American economy, according to jubilant FDIC
officials.
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