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The Shit List
SHIT LIST
Ghost shit: The kind where you feel the shit come out, but there
is no shit in the toilet.
Clean shit: The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet
but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet shit: The Kind where you wipe your butt 60 times and it
still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet
paper between your butt and your underwear so you
won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave shit: This happens when you're done shit-ing and
you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and
you realize that you have to shit some more.
Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead shit: The kind where you strain so much
to get it out, you practically
have a stroke.
Lincoln Log shit: The kind of shit that is so huge you're afraid
to flush without first breaking it into little
pieces with the toilet brush.
Gassey shit: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.
Drinker shit: The Kind of shit you have the morning after a long
night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is
the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Corn shit: (Self-Explanitory)
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-shit shit: The kind where you want to shit but all
you do is sit on the toilet and fart a
few times.
Spinal Tap shit: That's where it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear
it was leaving sideways.
Wet Cheeks shit: (The Power Dump) The kind that comes out of your butt
so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
Liquid shit: The kind where yellowish brown liquid shoots out of
your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican shit: It smells so bad that your nose burns.
Upper Class shit: The kind of shit that doesn't smell, but your
farts give you away!
The Surprise shit: You're not even at a toilet because you are sure
you're about to fart, but oops--a shit!
The Dangling shit: This shit refuses to drop into the toilet even though
you know you're done shit-ing it. You just pray that
it won't splash you!
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