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The Conspiracy, Part 1
by Rev. Ivan Stang
Part 1 of 3.
PRAIRIE SQUID RETRACTION
I don't seriously expect anyone to understand this. Those
who claim to are lying! Once, a guy accused me of devil worship
just because I said that Christianity, as it exists today, is the
ONE WORLD ANTI-CHRIST SYSTEM PREDICTED IN THE BIBLE!!!! No,
we're not supposed to know that THE ADVERSARY is not some grimy
weirdo cranking out crack-pot rants in a filthy basement, or a
Cult Leader wearing mystic symbols on an afternoon TV talk show.
We're not supposed to know that the MANIACAL HATCHET FIEND is
that quiet, harmless person who brings us such wonderful
vegetables from their MIRACULOUSLY WELL-FERTILIZED GARDEN!!!
THAT SATAN INCARNATE ISN'T A HIDEOUS ABOMINATION FROM HELL, BUT A
CLEAN-SCRUBBED, PINK-FACED, WIDE-GRINNED, NECKTIE-WEARING GOOD-
NATURED TRUSTWORTHY SOUL WHO IS POCKETING HUGE AMOUNTS OF CASH
FOR POISONING AND MURDERING MILLIONS, saying, "WE HAVE NO
SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT THE TENFOLD ESCALATION OF HORRIBLE DEATH
IN THE DIRECT VICINITY OF OUR PLANT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE
BLACK SLUDGE LEAKING OUT OF OUR WASTE DUMP ONTO THE PLAYGROUND OF
THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!!" No, we're not supposed to know that.
BUT WE DO KNOW IT, and once you know something YOU CAN'T UNKNOW
IT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. YOU CAN ONLY SPEND THE REST OF YOUR
LIFE WISHING YOU COULD FORGET!!!
I'LL START MY DIET TOMORROW
Even the humans know personal doom is always right around the
corner, not that they care to admit it. It could be war,
mutually assured destruction, or nuclear accidents, or economic
collapse, or the greenhouse effect, or race riots, or civil
insurrection, or a comet, or ozone layer depletion, or drought,
or epidemics, or typhoons and floods and tornados, or the New Ice
Age, or the melting of the glaciers, or dust storms, or
earthquakes, or falling radioactive space junk, or Third World
Barbarian terrorists with H-bombs in their luggage, or sunspot
radiation, or famine, or the lining up of the planets, or mutant
viruses, or insect invasion, killer bees, nothing can stop them,
or the contamination of the food chain, or the Men from Planet X,
cattle mutilations, or space monsters, or oil spills, or mercury
leaks, or the plutonium canisters rotting in the deep, or the
stifling of photosynthesis and the death of all sea creatures, or
simple overpopulation, or it could just be the ENDLESS SMOTHERING
WAITING LINES.
Whatever combination it is, it'll probably be an improvement
over business as usual, here in the mundane Conspiracy world,
where They beat the dreams out of you and stuff Their pleasant
nightmares down your soul, piped in twenty-four hours a day,
through a hundred video channels clogged with the psychic silt of
the Hollywood mind death delta!!
Suicide has become an art form. So has sniping. A cup of
coffee and a can of creamed plankton costs half a million bucks.
Goods are made so shoddily that even plastic fruit rots in the
bowl. The lights are getting dim, the power bills are going up,
it's getting colder, water comes from the tap in a thin brown
stream that discolors your teeth and gums and shrivels your
privates. One day you turn on the faucet and a blur of angry
roaches streams out. 20 years worth of chemical waste is buried
under your house...that may explain the headaches and Mrs.
Brodie's Elephant Baby. Vandals, rape gorillas, dogmouth
underlings...abject rush hour simian sub-men, bumper to
bumper...You want to punish them all, to lash out in spectacular
vengeance. But you feel as if some Great Liberal in the Sky is
holding a bludgeon over you, exhorting you to behave. You can't
find a place to live where They don't rub against you in your
dreams. It's crowded, and the air is bad for your skin. It
hurts when you breath, and there are certain neighborhoods where,
unless you wear the Mark of the Beast, you aren't supposed to
inhale at all. And there's NO PARKING.
But maybe you're rich, in a fugitive leisure world, getting
soft, and the softness is killing you even more painfully because
you have time to NOTICE. And the demons have a chance to notice
you too: tobacco demons, alcohol demons, cancer demons, stress
demons. Your guts ache, you don't have a light, your herb is
mouldy, your palms are clammy, your gas lines are leaking, your
tongue is a wad of clay, you are paid to say things you hate.
You have a cage for a head, and it has not been cleaned.
A life of compulsive consumption. The liberty to be just
like everybody else. The pursuit of the happiness of the grave.
You look around and wonder, "Is everyone really this
shallow, stupid, ignorant and naive, or is it me? Have I become
so twisted and warped that I am no longer able to empathize or
even communicate with most of the human race? Do I alone feel
this hatred for the assholes who run our lives, this disgust with
the PINK DUPES?"
But then you see those being senselessly lynched in the
media, the workplace, the schoolyard, the market and the courts,
and you realize, "YES! It is me, and yes, I am a mutant, and
yes, the Pinks are all doomed and MOST OF ALL, I AM NOT ALONE IN
THIS WAY OF THINKING!!!"
If only it were just you. Then They could kill you and move
on. But it's the whole society...the whole planet. Everything,
everywhere is getting worse. Reality itself is fraying at the
edges. The Universe is not what it use to be; something's
missing. "The center does not hold," as the Lakota used to say
just before what's about to happen to you happened to them.
For this is the Age of the Unravelling...the AGE OF THEM.
No, it's not OK. "Civilization," for all it's fancy
trimmings, is still just a rickety shack made by drunk stooges
without a blueprint, a shack that will collapse when you least
expect it. The foundation is ok but there has been some very
sloppy workmanship.
Of course, to a certain extent it's natural for our society
always to be screwed up: "if GOD didn't have a sense of humor,
there wouldn't be people." But...not this screwed up.
It could so easily have been a PERFECT WORLD. We were
supposed to be a shortcut in evolution, the "Catch 23" that would
have prevented exactly the predicament we've found ourselves in.
But the advancement of our quasi-mongrel semi-Yeti race has been
relentlessly impeded through ceaseless persecution and repression
by those who profit from senselessness, ignorance and mediocrity.
CONGRATULATIONS, HUMANS! YOU'VE SUCCESSFULLY HALTED YOUR
OWN EVOLUTION AND GUARANTEED YOUR OWN DEMISE!
We'd be happy to chip in and help Them join our long lost
friends, the dinosaurs, in the dreamless sleep of extinction...if
only they weren't taking us along with them!!
Things didn't just "get" this way. Not even humans could
cause so much trouble, by accident. It had to have been PLANNED.
It's a CONSPIRACY. It's THE Conspiracy.
BUT, WHICH CONSPIRACY?
Is it the people who assassinated JFK and MLK? Or is it the
Masons? Or the Satanists? Is it the MJ-12 Crashed UFO
conspiracy, or the Alternative 3 conspiracy? Is it the fluoride
in the water, the Watergate burglars, the International Jewish
Bankers? What about those who killed Jimi, Janus and Jim? And
John? And Paul? And Kurt? And Aunt Betty? And Uncle Sam? And
Timmy's Hamster? Most of these can be tied to the basic CIA
conspiracy, but...what about the liberal media conspiracy? How
is it they are owned by Westinghouse, G.E., Disney and other parts of
the conservative conspiracy? But then, all the conspiracies are
so interlocked and interwoven that when you start looking into
one, you inevitably end up being sucked into another and another.
One can endlessly explore the world of conspiracies,
intricately detailing it's works, mapping it's eddies and flows,
it's secret, subtle currents, it's dangers...but one risks
succumbing to it's apparent friendliness and charm. For it
contains within it so many infinitely varying conspiracies of
fanatic interest that there's BOUND to be a conspiracy JUST RIGHT
FOR YOU! There are certainly plenty to go around.
Yet none of these thousands of "little conspiracies" are
nearly worthy of our grandiose, all-powering Hate. They're not
part of the very AIR we BREATH, like the BIG conspiracy. They're
real enough, but they themselves don't even know who they're
really working for. Many of them even "mean well"! But all are
just RAVENING MOUTHS for a vast hunger with no body.
The conspiracy that we truly hate, the real Conspiracy,
isn't one of these fiendishly clever ones. It doesn't even know
it's a conspiracy! It cant. It's a faceless confederacy of
dunces, so vast and so broad that it underlies all the lesser
conspiracies and permeates all human reality. Quite the opposite
of devious, it dominates by merely exploiting the overall, mealy-
mouthed, chickenbutt-kissing "Code of Normality" (or CON) of ALL
the Pinks, norm-worms and mere-humes at large. There is no more
insidious and subtle a weapon than that.
This Conspiracy has no face; we know it only by it's
desires...a great Mirror of Disfigurement, it reflects what is
wrong with everyone. Politics and the petty squabbles of nations
are only part of what The Conspiracy manipulates. It is MUCH
BIGGER than gods or demons, Republicans and Democrats, or
Presidents and interlocking corporate directorates; it's
everything from the school bully to the wimp principle, from Mom
and Dad to the Bobbie in the Billybong.
More than anything else, The Conspiracy is an attitude - a
fear - a PINKNESS. A cancer of the imagination, the hatred of
the real, the yearning for "cuteness," the eagerness to obey...
Oh sure, people LOVE new things - like Michael Jackson is "new"
compared to The Beatles. But if, say, a REAL JESUS were to
appear, well, it might look just a bit TOO new to be allowed to
run loose for very long.
This fear of the unfamiliar permeates society; it's what
let's the CON get away with REAL MURDER on a massive scale.
Guaranteeing obedience requires little effort on the part of any
Conspiracy "ringleaders"; the stinking Normals happily supply the
obedience themselves. The obvious injustices and insanities
written into law books by Illuminati bigwigs are insignificant
compared to the little things - the unspoken agreement with the
status-quo, the unthinking daily cowardice, the petty subtle put-
downs, the judgmental gossip and all the mundane venalities that
make up human nature: the Hanna-Barbera cartoons, the
"infotainment" programs, those day-glo Rush Limbaugh bumper-
stickers, the Caucasian Christians for Commerce, the grade school
"Turn In Your Parents" program, the saccharine voice of "Barney,"
the fashion masters, O.J. Obsession, MTV-style hamburger
commercials, the Denver Boot, Line Dancing, Professional Victims,
Health Fascists, the Super Mario Brothers, Steven Speilberg,
Chuck E. Cheese, Robert Dole, Mickey's Toontown, cute boxer
shorts with "hip" designs, people who spell their names with all
lower case letters, ect.
This nation, this WORLD is BLOATED and SWAYING DRUNKENLY
with the stench of Pinkness on it's breath. So...it isn't YOUR
fault if things just continue to go more and more wrong until one
day you SNAP OUT OF IT and realize that there REALLY ARE billions
of TORMENTED SOULS BURNING IN HELL, and YOU'RE ONE OF 'EM...That
last, frantic, dying shriek of your soul going under will be the
only sign that you have made the transition into the peaceful
netherworld of blinkered Pink indifference.
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE SODIUM PENTOTHAL!!
IT'S WHAT YOU DON'T SEE THAT SELLS YOU
But why should the Pinks worry? Even if there was a
Conspiracy (yuk, yuk), it wouldn't be after them, would it? "I
pay my taxes," they think. "I obey the law. I'm not strange or
out of the ordinary. Why should I care?" And they're right.
The Conspiracy doesn't have to "get them" because THEY'VE BEEN
HAD ALL ALONG. That ring has been in their nose so long that the
scars have completely healed and even a sharp YANK on the chain
doesn't hurt anymore. They're safe all right. Safe as a fish in
a seafood restaurant tank.
THE PAVEMENT OF HELL ROAD
If you read the ingredients on the packaged life of Joe
Average you'll find a smattering of greed, stress and partially
hydrolyzed brain cells, but mostly artificial flavoring and
coloring. Pinks are the Homo sapiens equivalent of pasteurized,
aerosol cheese food product. One would think this would render
them harmless; many of them actually pride themselves on their
harmlessness - but because the fabric of their reality is built
on ignorance and mangled instincts, the sum of all their actions,
taken together, perpetuates the vicious cycle of "dog-eat-dog."
Thus the seedy underbelly of the suburbs is a Pink Ghetto, a
zombie zoo afloat in Prozac, cost/efficiency feasibility studies,
sloppy alcoholic wives, terror-stricken execs and their damaged
offspring. A culture of yes-bots and pushy assholes who started
out believing the myths of Positive Thinking and Freedom of
Speech, and then were violently disillusioned so thoroughly that
they lost all hope and played right into the hands of The
Conspiracy and it's Great Answer: "Grab what you can and FUCK the
other guy!" You know who I'm talking about, MR PINK BOY, SIR!
Mr "Conspiracy? BUNKUM!", SIR! Ms All-Men-Are-Rapists, MA'AM!
Mr Closet Nazi Corporate Executive, SIR! Ms Psychic Friends
Hotline Network Caller, MA'AM! Mr Water It Down, Sell-Any-Kind-
Of-Crap, Mind Control, Media Programmer, SIR! Ms Oprah-Watching,
Tabloid-Reading, Twelve-Stepping Zombie, MA'AM! Ms Realtor Of
The Year, MA'AM! Mr Filthy Rich TV Evangelist, SIR! Ms Mother's
March Against Pornography, or Rock Lyrics, or Library Books, or
Youth, or...whatever, MA'AM! Mr Secular Neophyte, Mr Head
Crusher, Mr Normal, SIR, YES SIR!!!
The Conspiracy is not vengeful. It has nothing against you
PERSONALLY; you're being persecuted and hobbled by people who
couldn't care less about who you are. The hive automatically
protects itself from evolution by negating any individuals whose
circuits are too "resonate." All evolutionaries are by
definition "insane."
But insane is a relative term. Ironically, the conspiracy
hive venerates the lunatics of the past while killing the
lunatics of the present to prevent the lunatics of the future.
The image of the dead lunatic becomes the medicine dispensed by
the pharmacy. The image of the future lunatic - "THIS IS WHAT
YOU SHOULD FEAR" - becomes the sickness sold by the pharmacy.
Today's sickness is tomorrow's medicine, a vaccine composed of
dead intelligence. Galileo, Socrates, Jesus...Conspiracy
persecuted lunatics of the past...Conspiracy icons today.
The modern Conspiracy hive functions just like the old Mayan
hives, with smug priests, brutal warrior castes and larval Pink
masses quivering in mortal fear of nature and power. But this
time around it's the Pink's own fault: they willingly devolve
into their consumerist shell while the untapped knowledge of the
sages is right in front of their faces...dripping from their
noses, running down their chins.
CRIMES OF THE CONSPIRACY
The Conspiracy had the trust and forthrightness to inform us
that, pointed at every single one of us, was a nuclear weapon
with a hair trigger - but that was okay, because we all had one
pointed at somebody over there, too, and if anybody ever used any
of them, the whole world would be destroyed.
If the nukes were something They wanted us to know about,
just think of the aces up Their sleeves that They aren't
mentioning! But Their secrets are safe, as long as They keep
drawing our attention away with decoy nightmares. As long as
Congress stays busy investigating how the money was laundered for
Iran-Contra or Whitewater, nobody will ask irksome questions
about the corporate slave colonies springing up throughout the
Third World.
Funny how these endless trials over a "shadow government"
always end in mistrials or pardons. Funny how the AIDS virus
"came from green monkeys," "has no cure," but in it's entire history
has not infected a single Senator, Congressman, Cabinet member,
or head of industry. Funny how the drugs that are most sure to
kill and cripple people are sold at every convenience store. And
talk about funny - how bout the weather lately? In some parts it
goes from rain forest to desert in just a few hours.
There are a lot fewer KINDS of life around, suddenly. An
electromagnetic "poison" is leaking from our wiring that science
can't admit to without admitting gross ignorance. You get tired
easier. Everyone already has cancer, and every time you leave
the house you get a new disease. The world's population, but not
it's food supply, will double in twenty years, then in ten years,
then it will double every time you get laid - if that is still
legal and survivable by then. (Ha, Ha, Ha! Cut it out! You're
killing me!)
Speaking of sex, one in two adults say they were abused as
children. 40% of American women have been raped by their
"dates." A third of AIDS carriers have not bothered to tell
their lovers and spouses. Half of the U.S. says there's no
reason ever to get married, and 82% say they probably wouldn't
marry the same person again. (And yet, only three percent of
them had affairs.) 95% don't know their neighbors. 68% have
been victims of major crimes. 86% favor capitol punishment, but
only 2% would volunteer to throw the electric chair switch. (1)
Meanwhile, people with critical jobs like teachers, fire-
fighters and nurses make barley more than minimum wage, so that
ADMINISTRATORS can get $265,000 a year for needlessly
interfering! But let's not lose perspective. Only 10% of the
people on this planet earn more than $14,000 a year. 27% make
between $2,000 and $14,000. (Or the equivalent in local currency;
donkeys, wives, ect.) But the majority of Earth's bipeds, 62%,
pull down a mean $0 to $2,000 from The Conspiracy for a year's
worth of grunt work. (1)
But saving the world is expensive. For instance, look at
the cost for universal, planetary child immunization against six
major diseases, saving millions of lives a year for say, five
years. 1.4 TRILLION dollars.(2) That's almost as expensive as a
TRIDENT SUBMARINE!! Let's get our priorities straight here!
Besides...do all those kids really WANT to live? Do YOU really
want them to live? Thirty of them, PER MINUTE, are going to
perish miserably of STARVATION, ANYWAY, leaving more for YOU.
As Bucky Fuller pointed out, "the problem isn't production,
but distribution. Enough dead babies are being produced, but
seeing that everyone gets the amount they need is a problem
capitalism hasn't solved."
Smooth fat suit-wearing witchdoctors selling socially
approved drug-dependance on prime-time while sexually frigid
bourgeois self-pity-mongers pay the "justice" department to shoot
kids in the back for jaywalking!! Complain about pollution and
They charge you for Their perfect solution: They remove your
brain, plug up your rectum and fill your skull with dioxin.
God-given individual right (rite) to meditate taken away
while world-spanning corporate snake-monsters pop uranium zits
and tax us for the "privilege" of having the radioactive puss
buried in our backyards-brains-bloodstreams-souls!!
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