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Coupon for ordering SubGenius errata
1. SubGenius Application Coupon
2. SubGenius Advertisement
3. Subgenius Pamphlet
APPLICATION COUPON AND ORDER FORM
To the Sacred Scribe of the FisTemple Lodge of the Church of the SubGenius
P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75213, U.S.A.
I have __ have not __ completed the Application Questionnaire and, if I am
found worthy, and even if I am not, I will henceforth consider myself a
SubGenius.
_____ $20 for CHURCH MEMBERSHIP & ORDAINMENT
Includes Stark Fist subscription. Pamphlet #1, Catalog
Membership Credentials, orientation materials, posters, doc-
uments, stickers, charts, and such privileges which befit
priesthood in a secret society of this scope. Includes wallet
sized MEMBERSHIP CARD making you an Ordained SubGenius Minister.
This is the only way to get on the permanent mailing list and
pierce the shroud of secrecy that insulates the cult.
_____ $1 for THE SUBGENIUS CATALOG
Books, posters, MEDIA BARRAGE CASSETTE TAPES BEYOND BELIEF,
bumper stickers, buttons, T-shirts, gizmos, leaflets. Very
detailed;a laff-'n-salvation riot in its own right.
_____ $3 for SAMPLE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL Magazine
With facts about Dobbs, Other Mutants, Prescriptures, comics
pages, letters ,instructions, interviews, dating service, etc.
Takes weeks to read.
_____ $1 each for SUBGENIUS PAMPHLET #1
("The World Ends Tomorrow and You MAY DIE"). the one
16-page power-packed publication that sarted it all. So dense
with information that many persons have gotten lost in it
Forever. Superb introductory propaganda and excellent for just
just leaving randomly in laundromats, restrooms, etc.
Instant Salvation For Only ONE DOLLAR!
_____ $8 each for CASSETTE TAPES
90 min. each -- stereo -- color. The Media Barrage Tapes, as
heard on radio. "Bob" speaks through hi Ministers; he speaks
to YOU. Documentary/propagandoid Lessons and Revelations far
beyond any present medium...a totally new genre.
Good for over 75 close listenings. Fast-paced, dense with
shocking juxtapostions, special effects. Makes New Wave even
older than it already is. Unbelievable sequences from 1) The
Real World (radio, TV, insane preachers, weird cults), 2) The
Live Churches of the SubGenius (excerpts from SubGenius radio
and TV interviews, sacred trance spouting, revivals, Doktor-
Musik, songs, chants, rants, and preaching). and 3) Lurid
Entertainment (choice clips from horror, porn, bulldada films).
Savage; joyful; monstrous. Useful for sedductions.
"From a radio standpoint, it's up there with The Firesign
Theater, Lenny Bruce, Monty Python, Ken Nordine, and The Shaggs.
And Jean Shepherd. And Norman Vincent Peale. And...yes, Dobbs
has forever entered our lives and language."-- Irwin Chusid
BRAND NEW TAPES! BEST YET!
__ 10: "REPENT" (The Conspiracy)
__ 11: "SHUP UP, PINK BOY" (Aliens + Nukes)
__ 12: "SLACK" + Best SubGenius Radio
____ $11 THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS
Published by McGraw-Hill. 200 pages, 8-1/2 x 11 large, soft-
bound Horror Bible. After this, you'll never have to read another
bood as long as you live. Contains all answers to everything.
plus profuse illustrations and diargrams. Encompasses life
of "Bob", entire past and future history of Earth, and all the
instructions you'll ever need for success, happiness, and
psychic wealth in The End Times. BEYOND "HIP" OR "FUNNY;" the
"Sistine Chapel" of the 20th Century.
____ $1 STICKERS
Hundreds of little lick-n-stick SubGenius ads and mysterious
statements. "Drive your hometown insane." Great for envelopes,
toilet walls, etc.
CAUTION! WARNING! DISCLAIMER!
Because the SubGenius inner mysteries, dark rites, abhorrent rituals, loath-
some secrets, and repugnant initiations reach into the so-called "evil"
and "conspiratorial" realms as well as the ordinary, unforbidden sciences
and magicks, they must never be allowed to fall into the wrong hands.
There are some thing Man was not meant to own, especially Regular Man;
While the use of SubGenius concepts and tools may be informative, amusing,
and effective in gaining Something for Nothing, THEY ARE NOT TOYS.
I therefore swear that I am at least 18 years of age, and, furthermore,
that I will keep private all reading matter, taped discourses, graven images,
and other cult secrets. If I do not uphold this ancient trust, I am pre-
pared to meet the Stark Fist Of Removal.
SIGNED: _________________________________________________________________
MAIL TODAY! Print Your Name:
THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS And Address:
P.O. BOX 140306
Dallas, TX 75214 City,State,Zip:
USA
Make check or money order to: The SubGenius Foundation Inc.
Money back if not satisfied.
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IF you suspect that things are much worse than you ever suspected---
IF the only thing you've been able to laugh at for the last 5 years is the
fact that NOTHING is funny anymore---
IF you sometimes want to collar people on the street and scream that
you're more "different" than they could possibly imagine---
IF you see the whole universe as one vast morbid sense of sick humor---
IF the current 'Age of Progress' seems more like the Dark Ages to you---
IF you are looking for an inherently contradictory religion that will
condone megadegeneracy and yet tell you that you are "above" ever-
one else---
Then...
The Church of the SubGenius
MIGHT JUST SAVE YOUR SANITY!!!!!!!!!!
Become a Doktor for the Forbidden Sciences...Make religion a kick-ass
adventure! Indulge in Self-Help through Raising Hell! Thought you'd tried
everything? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET! Learn to think BIG! Develop the tricks
of Length Extension! Bring your weirdest dreams to rampaging LIFE!
*****************************************************************************
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
It should be painfully obvious by now that the world as we know it
won't last too damn much long. And what are you doing about it? Going
to work or school, coming home, goofing around. What will happen to your
routine when all the shit domes down on us at once? Don't you fell res-
ponsible for trying to help this endangered planet?
No? Good. The fact is, it's too late. Therei sin't a god damned thing
you as an individual can do about eco-disaster, nuclear death, overpop-
ulation, and so on. Thing are going to Hell on a fast train and about the
only thing you, or anyone else besides the Rockefellers, can do about it
is to just sit back and watch the show.
But remember - the End of the World may be much worse and take much
longer than you thought. The mere act of sitting in your home watching
everything fall apart on TV ;may be too much for even the stoutest brains
to take. In fact, the more alert and intelligent you are, the quicker
you'll likely be driven to suicide by the sheer hideousness of what you'll
be seeing. WILL YOU BE READY?
WILL YOU STILL BE SANE ENOUGH TO LAUGH WHEN THAT WHICH MUST COME TO
PASS, COMES TO PASS? WILL YOU EVER GET SLACK??
Study our SubGenius "literature" closely. Keep it by your toilet and
memorize it. If you aren't as dense as most people, you'll be quick to
realize that, cheesy scam though it might well be, the Church of the
SubGenius is just about the only organization around that can help you
face the god-aawful facts without some sort of ingratiating, sweetness-
and-light, good-two-shoes, pollyanna, life-is-a-bowl-of-cherries bullshit.
NOT only that, but the Church of the SubGenius is beyond the shadow of a
doubt THE ONLY TRUE RELIGION. We perform miracles, answer ANY question,
invoke demons, and have a direct etheric hotline to space god Jehovah 1
through our infra-psychic trance-babbling Personal Savior, J.R."Bob" Dobbs -
who is actually a pretty regular guy, just very rich and possessed by
forces greater than Man.
The SubGenius material has only recently been made public. This is your
chance to get in on the ground floor of a huge, lucrative cult - NOW, while
rates are low, so that you will not only recieve the immediate benefits
listed on our Application Coupon, but will also be eligible for all the
$$$, weird sex, drugs, and sheer Power Over Others that go with highranking
membership in what will probably sweep this unkempt planet in an unstoppable
wave of cynical, dangerous power plays, insanely morbid turhts, and pan-
handling, zombie-like "followers."
For the sake of what little you still hold dear, we urge you to submit
this application so that we may determince if you are worthy to recieve
the closest thing to salvation you'll ever get a whiff of.
(if you are rich, your money can buy you your own personal Church and
Congregation. Write for details)
"Researching the Public's Fear of the Unknown since 1953!"
The Church Of The SubGenius
P.O box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
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(This file brought made available to you by the Sysops
Doktor Mith & Doktor Kid
Of The SubGenius BBS.
(415) 930-6837
PO Box 272424
Concord, CA 94527
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