Tricks, Tips and Rules of Selling Weed

First off there are much easier and safer ways of making a buck than selling illegal drugs. however if you feel compelled to eventually get arrested and thrown in jail, but make money during that process then this might aid you in your endeavor.

RULES
rule 1: never tell anyone who you buy from
rule 2: never tell anyone how much you buy at a time AND FOR HOW MUCH
rule 3: never negotiate prices with anyone because once you do they won’t respect you (there are other ways of ensuring repeat customers that i’ll get into later)
rule 4: start out slow
rule 5: expect to be jumped, bothered at all hours of the day and night, pulled over with drugs on you, an upsurge of new “friends”, an upsurge of new enemies (notice there are no quotes around enemies because they are most definitely real and there whether you know about them or not), an upsurge in the amount of time spent around addicting drugs (yes weed is addicting).
rule 6: have an existing plan of action for dealing with each of the situations listed above
rule 7: NEVER FUCKING TELL ANYONE WHO YOU BUY FROM, HOW MUCH YOU BUY AT A TIME, AND FOR HOW MUCH!!!!! fucking retards make this mistake all the time. i know it’s moronic and i’ve fucked people over because they got too high and let me weasel it out of them.

TIPS
tip 1: once you find a source of cheap and abundant weed whether growing it yourself or selling it for a friend or whatever your situation, make sure you do everything you can to hold on to it.

tip 2: start selling weed at a cheaper than average price, but not so low to make you lose money. pretty much just break even or smoke for free until you get your client base up and then bring the prices up to normal.

tip 3: once you have your client base do everything you can to hold onto them. this includes smoking out each and everyone of them. do not do this every time just about every third or fifth time. only do a bowl or small joint and then disappear saying you have to go meet someone else in a few and you need to get something to eat or any other BS story. i made myself look like i had plenty of people coming to me and that i thought he/she was cool enough to take a smoke break with. they will like you and remember that, whether they realize it or not.

tip 4: GET THE MONEY FIRST lol this seems like common sense, but i’ve gotten to lackadaisical and forgotten to collect my due. don’t judge me asshole lol

tip 5: be friendly and smile, but not to friendly. as soon as they try to intrude on any of your rules get real serious real quick. don’t piss them off or leave any tension behind, but nip that shit in the bud as quickly and diplomatically as possible.

tip 6: if they ask you to weigh it out in front of them just do it. never let them catch you intentionally trying to gyp them, make sure it always comes out to within .2 of what it’s supposed to be. if it’s .2 short put more in there saying “hmm i guess it was off balance”. (we will go over ways to gyp them in more discreet ways later in the tricks section).

tip 7: build up a tolerance to weed so that you stay more alert after smoking with others. do memory exercises and don’t get lazy. remember you’re not buying it for your own use, you’re the guy/girl selling it trying to make money so remember that! this might sound a little strange, but the last thing you want to do is forget anything because you were to high. inversely you can just say you’re good because you just smoked (this is best, but can be suspicious if done to often). i don’t recommend doing this with any drug other than weed!!

tip 8: never hold more than you think you need to at any given time. what i mean is if you’re going to sell a g to some high school punk then only take that g and maybe a bowl if you decide to smoke them out this time. this may be inconvenient at times, but it saves you in the long run from the police and people who want to beat you up and steal your shit, sometimes they are one in the same. this goes for money as well, don’t take any with you at all. (more on this later in the tricks section)

tip 9: don’t let them know where you live if at all possible.

tip 10: find a niche and fill it like i did your girlfriend. i’m sorry that was uncalled for, i apologize. what i mean is if you live in a town where there are a bunch of rich kids that buy dro all the time then start selling regular. sell them on the point that its more for parties and it lasts them a lot longer (it really doesn’t). also the reverse is true. if you live in a town where everyone buys reggie then start selling dro. sell them on the point that it will get them higher (it will and they’ll start coming to you after they see that). it’s all about quality vs. quantity.

TRICKS
trick 1: there are many many ways to gyp your clients, some more sinister than others. i’m not going to give away all of my secrets, but i’ll leave you with a few that are tried and true.

– spray bug spray (raid or something) on the nugs. this stuff doesn’t evaporate so it adds weight to them. this one is fucked up, but hey, you’re a drug dealer so stfu or get a real job you douche. this can also be risky, but so is selling drugs.

– if you have multiple scales find one that consistently says there’s more than there really is and use this one for everything. take it with you in case they want you to weigh it in front of them. even if it’s only by .1 that shit adds up son!

– hype your stuff up all the time and believe it yourself. if it’s an okay batch sell it like it’s the shit you had before that was awesome. if it’s awesome then joke around about how it made you forget how to read. the dumber the shit you say the more it works. “you remember that shit i had last time? this is like that, but it tastes waaaay better.” “you remember that good shit you got last time? well this is the motherfucking pump station!” “that shit last time? oh yeah, it may have looked better, but this shit right here? this shit right here! it’ll make you feel like you just had sex with your mom!!” lmao i’ve literally said all kinds of this shit.

– i can’t tell you everything i know because it’ll violate some of my old rules. even though i haven’t sold in years old habits die hard. just be creative and build your own arsenal. it’s like when your dad makes chili and it’s the bomb, but he never tells you how, all he says is, “it’s part of becoming a man, coming up with your own recipe” or something along those lines. i’m still perfecting my chili on my own and so you should perfect your selling methods on your own.

trick 2: there are many places you can go to make lots of money in a short amount of time. some are more risky than others, but they all have one thing in common. you have to bring large amounts of bud with you. this is very risky for several reasons. first off you don’t want to pre-package your shit into a bunch of smaller bags because if you get caught that’s automatically intent to distribute. secondly you don’t want to keep all your shit in one bag because you may come across the wrong person who will just take everything you have from you by force or stealth as soon as they find out you’re carrying that much. so pick your poison.

– parties, you will hear about lots of events through your drug network and you should take advantage of these. don’t worry about not being invited, everyone will know who you are and will be glad to see you. these events are good for two things, selling lots of weed and building your reputation. start buy rolling a blunt elsewhere and bringing it in and passing it around with any and everyone. don’t worry about getting high yourself, but make sure you do take a hit or two. this will show them you’re badass and get their craving for more started at the same time! isn’t it great!? after that proceed to sell your ass off in whatever fashion you see fit. “oh no i don’t have any more blunts i was just stopping by, but i got some more i can sell you before i leave if you want.”

– hookah bars, these are much more risky, but you know most of the people partaking smoke weed too. there are often police near these places and even rent-a-cops inside who contrary to popular belief will bust your shit wide open. at places like these i usually do the pre-package thing so it’s quicker cause i don’t know these fucks.

– the bars/clubs, these are just as sketchy, but well worth it if you know what you’re doing.

DON’T FORGET RULE 4! don’t get overzealous. acquire your skills first. you need to have run from the police and dealt with other people and won first a few times before you get your feet wet at night spots.