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Old Guy’s Perspective..

I am an old guy (46) who has lurked in TRP for a good while, checking out what the young bucks are up to. I had to learn the lessons distilled here the hard way, by getting stomped on until I learned that “being nice” equals “being a pussy” in the eyes of many people. If you allow people to shove you (male or female) they will until you make them stop. With that said, I have struggled to overcome the anger I see expressed in many posts here. I have felt it, and given in to it and fought against it at different times in my life. I have become more Zen about the whole thing as I have gotten older, and this is just a lesson I have learned about what I think we should be aiming for in the long run. If you like spinning plates forever, have at it. I did that for awhile, but then I got married. Did I find the Unicorn? Nope. Don’t count on it. If you plan on ever getting into a LTR, think what you want. Believe me, a woman who gives you what you want all the time, every time, gets boring as all hell. Challenges make us grow. If you end up with a woman who challenges you (reasonably), questions your decisions but accepts your authority (a ship can have only one Captain, after all), it seems to lead to long term happiness. What triggered this post is my desire to remind men that there is more to TRP than power, there is responsibility. Yep, if it comes down to a black-or-white decision in my home, I get the call. Along with that I get the responsibility if it blows up in my face. I look at it as a Commanding Officer/Executive Officer kind of thing. I run the ship, but I want the person sharing my life to be competent enough to make many decisions without my input, knowing what I would want done. If an important decision needs to be made, I make it. I will listen to her points if she disagrees, and allow them to change my thinking if she has good valid arguments. Either way, the final decision is mine. Again, the final responsibility is mine too. The Captain is ultimately responsible for the fate of the ship. I guess what I’m getting at is that if you plan on spending the a long time with a woman, make sure it is not one that will bore you. Men cannot respect a weak woman any more than a woman will respect a weak man.

 

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